Written Wednesdays

So, as I have hit a gargantuan writing block barricade, I have been stalking other blogs profusely and have found a neat idea behind a few blogs. Letters. We all love letters right? I am all for the convenience of our technologically-advanced world of text messages, e-mails, phone calls, etc., but there is something mysteriously romantic, unifying,delicate, and downright genuine about the conglomeration of pen and paper and an envelope in a mailbox. Although not the first time on this blog (I wrote a letter to myself once before), I thought I would implement the "letter theme" again (even though these are not real letters seeing that they are being typed behind my computer screen and not written on my stationery that needs to be put to use more often).  I can't think of two better people to write to than my parents. So without further ado, Let's give this a go, shall we?

Dear Frito and Pasty (as my childhood friends so lovingly branded you years ago),

            Words could never adequately describe how thankful I am for the two of you and all that you have so selflessly done for me the past twenty-one years.  You are, without a doubt, the two strongest people I know. As I have journeyed through life and my spiritual walk, I have always heard about possessing a Servant's heart and lifestyle, tried to discover what this truly looked like, and have been blind to the fact that the definition of this attitude was right before my eyes and guided me on a daily basis. Your compassion for people and the daily sacrifices you make to help others never ceases to amaze me. Thank you for dealing with my dramatic monologues and daily phone calls of my "crazy ideas." Thank you for supporting me with my second major change at the end of my Junior year of college. Thank you for encouraging me to be the "bigger person" in life while also teaching me how to notice and appreciate the "little things" we miss/take for granted on a daily basis. Thank you for understanding that silence is not one of my virtues and lending me your ears for two decades now. Thank you for setting the bar so high that I will never, ever reach it but will strive throughout life to get to the halfway mark. Mom, thank you for being the kindest, yet toughest, person I know. You really are not human. You are Wonder Woman in so many dimensions and never let the weight of the world keep you down. Thank you for being the resounding voice of reason in my life (even if I sometimes idiotically tune it out) and for giving me such an example of a God-fearing, beautiful woman. Dad, thank you for being the encourager in my life, sending me off to run the bases in search of my dreams, but always pointing me in the direction that leads home. Thank you for embedding the power of prayer into my life and for showing me true dedication to family and faith. Yet, thank you is an inadequate understatement to the two of you. You are one of the greatest blessings in my life, and I look forward to the lessons and years in the future. I love you.

-Shelby

AWKWARD & AWESOME

Ok, so I was feeling a little blog-friendly and decided to do two posts in one day. I haven't done this in a while so felt the need to update you on my life.

AWKWARD:

• If you go to eat with me more than three times, you start to pick up on my tendency to spill/drop/knock over food/drink on myself and my clothes. This held very true in Houston. As I was eating at Brennan's (nicer restaurant that I mentioned a few posts ago), our waiter was approaching our table as I picked up my glass of water, and you betcha, water came over the brim like a volcano and all into my lap as the waiter took my order. I think I made a great impression.
• In continuation of my dinner, SHRIMP. I have a definite love-hate relationship with this food. I love eating it but HATE peeling it. I should have taken this into consideration when I ordered Shrimp Chippewa at the restaurant, but of course, I didn't. So here I am after the waiter saw my cup turn into Mt. Helena, trying to politely peel my shrimp that are already submerged in grease, butter, and grits. Needless to say, a few shrimp tails were flying around my plate and table, and I had quite the look of flustered determination on my face for a good five minutes. 
• For Spring Break, I went with four of my friends to Santa Rosa Beach in Florida. I had just bought a new swim suit and was excited about wearing. So excited that, as I am laying out (it's halfway through the day to add to the kicks and giggles), Samantha says, "Shelby, you are wearing your top upside-down." I tried to argue with her, but sure enough, I had worn the swim suit upside down for approximately four and a half hours. If that doesn't take some awkward talent, I don't know what does.
• Also, on Spring Break, our cab driver one night told us scary/creepy stories and made himself out to sound like a possible serial killer. He then stops at a gas station...... and buys us all Krispy Kreme doughnuts...yep.
• Last week, I walked to my first class with a cloudless blue-sky day. A mere hour later when I walked out of class, it was torrential downpours. I had no umbrella, no rain jacket, and ten minutes to get to my next class where I was being evaluated on my story. So, with all my graceless poise, I sprinted in the rain, through a  silent building, laughing so hard that I was snorting (a-w-k-w-a-r-d), to finally reach my class looking like a deranged, wet zoo animal...I love the weather.

 AWESOME:

• Easter Break and getting to see family and my friends from home
• SNICKER EGGS. There is just something better about snickers when they are in holiday/abnormal shapes.
• Brennan's in Houston and Fish out of Water in Watercolor.
• The fact that I am almost a Senior in college and the Easter Bunny still comes to visit me.
• Same Kind of Different As Me- please do yourself a favor and read this book
• Spring scarves- I am slightly in love.
•  Houston weekend trip coming up next weekend!!

March Madness

I know, I know- it's April now, but I was absent so much last month due to the crazy rush of things and Spring that I had to make up for it and what better name to call it than- March Madness. Here's a flashback to the past month and all of its glory.

Trip to Houston

Chapter Retreat in Jackson

Spring Formal

Spring Formal

Day Trip to Kemah

Spring Break in Santa Rosa

The Good Life!

Happy Monday!!

Happiness. One of the most simple, yet ridiculously complicated, concepts/emotions in life. In my eyes, it could almost be summarized as this:

Kidding. Well kind of.  As I mentioned in the previous post, there have been a few big changes and decisions made in my life over the past month. I was waiting a while to share, but things seem pretty set in stone now (yet,are things ever set in stone with me?-good question). These changes came from me asking myself and evaluating what happiness meant and looked like in my life. Ultimately, this did not seem to be parallel with accounting. No disrespect to any possible accountants (I am dating one after all.) I still think it's a great field to go into, especially at Ole Miss (Top Ten in the Nation!), and offers a realm of possibilities to those pursuing it. However, at the end of the day, I did not feel like this would ultimately make me happy. Therefore, after much thinking, I have now decided that I am going to apply to OT school in the fall. I know this is a drastic change from Accounting/Business, but I was in Pharmacy freshman year which still doesn't really justify my decision. This decision comes from my heart. Throughout the past few years, I have tried to pinpoint the true passions in my life. For some, it's the wonderful world of sports. For some, it's fashion and the trends that stun the runways. For others, it's music and the arts. Mine is none of these. Mine can be found in the hopeful twinkle waiting behind teary eyes. Mine can be defined by a frown transforming into a smile. Mine are all ages, races, personalities, and ways of life. My passion is people and helping them throughout life. Volunteer at a nursing home for two and a half years, and then try to work in a field where you aren't constantly and directly aiding people, watching their progress, and reminding them of their potential while becoming a better person along the way. Try to not be captivated by the human heart and the power of a smile. (It's impossible).

As you can imagine, I have received doubts and skepticism from others due to my change. Yes, I am aware that I am almost a Senior in college. Yes, I am aware that this is the second time to change my mind. Yes, I know that I may come across as crazy. But as a wise woman once told me, you can't worry about others' perceptions and expectations in life.  You have to make yourself happy before that happiness can be passed onto others. For so long, I think I have tried to do what I thought was "expected of me" in a sense. Yet, my heart was never there. I have learned two things from this. 1) You are never going to satisfy the world's expectations, and quite frankly, you don't have to. 2) You are the only one who can control your happiness and how you view your life (meaning you have to go with your heart). Do I think I could have been worldly successful in accounting? Yes. Would I have been truly successful? No, because my heart would have not been in it, and why in the world would you dedicate your life to a passionless task? I love the line from one of my all-time favorite movies, Serendipity, when the guy says, "They only ask one question when a man died. Did he have passion?" Therefore, this is me doing what, I believe, will make me happy, and this is me pursuing a life of passion. Although I am not the biggest Beatles/John Lennon fan out there, when I saw this quote, I couldn't help but share. It sums up my outlook on this change.

 

So here's to being "happy"!

Humility in Houston

So the past month has been CRAZY. From tests kicking in to Spring Break to Houston and now back to Oxford, I have been pretty busy the past few weeks. Not to mention a few big decisions we'll get to in a few posts from now. I have so many funny/awkward stories to share, but as the title says, I found humility in Houston that struck a chord in my heart and is going to resonate until I address it.

This past weekend, I went to Houston to visit the boyfriend, and the last night I was there we went to an absolutely fabulous dinner here:

REPEAT AFTER ME: SHRIMP CHIPPEWA. (I promise you will thank me later.) Back to the story. So  here I am in this extremely nice restaurant (thank you, Andrew) just soaking it all in (along with my entire plate of food and of course I ate more bread than the boyfriend). So as I am waiting on my food, I can't help but observe the family seated closest to us. They appeared to be an overall happy family. They smiled. They laughed at all the right times. They were celebrating a birthday and snapping pictures. They all had their own plate of dessert (my kind of family). Yet, after a few minutes had passed, the conversation turned to religion. I was most likely inhaling an entire loaf of bread when I heard one say,

"I am just who knows/who cares when it comes to religion."

Now, it could have been the excessive amount of butter I had just consumed that caused it, but when I heard this statement, my heart froze. I looked up at the family who had just made my heart smile to now rest my eyes on a moment of pure heartbreak. For someone who seemed so composed from the outside, I couldn't imagine what was roaming in the depths of his heart. I could not imagine someone who, without hesitation, could write religion off as "who knows, who cares." I hurt for the life who hadn't been touched by the power of a prayer. For the soul who hadn't felt the grace of a new day. For the feet that helplessly tried to tread on waters that would soon rise above their head. For the heart who hadn't accepted the most pure and unconditional love. In that moment, I found humility in Houston.

There are two things I think we can take from this story. Just as there are no giants too big to be conquered, there is also no action to small to make a difference in a life and God's will. It does not take traveling to the other side of the world to find a hurting heart. It does not take leaving your town. It merely takes opening your eyes and ears to the people around you. The people you encounter on a daily basis. The people who daily whisper the troubles of their hearts but that we so selfishly tune out because of our own agendas or worries. As much as my heart broke for the man at the table beside me, my heart broke even more because I have not been as aware of the "who knows, who cares" around me. The second thing I think we can take from this is to live by the man's statement. Who Knows, Who Cares. Our goal in our lives should be to live a life where people know who and what we live for, and through our actions, they should know Who cares about them.

Happy Monday!!

"Glad you Came, Sweet Girl."

Two people have not received their way beyond over-due spotlight on my blog. Yet, they are in every word I type because I believe that I inherited the "dreamer" mindset solely from them. You would think they were just an ordinary couple in their seventies watching the news, attending every church function possible, or working on the latest quilt project. Yet, once upon a time, my sweet grandparents were a modern-day Romeo and Juliet. Despite the fact that they were sixteen and nineteen and that their parents might disapprove, my grandparents' love was all that mattered. Although it may be classified as "crazy," they eloped and got married as teenagers. They have been married over fifty years since. So the next time you say I am a hopeless romantic/crazy dreamer, I got it honestly. It's in my genes, and their story makes that crazy-dreamer heart pitter patter every time I think about it. 

Back to present time. Over the Christmas break, my grandfather had to have a procedure done for bladder cancer that they found. The day before the operation, my mom and I drove to Hattiesburg to be with him the morning of, and in all my morning-person glory, I was at the hospital at around 6:15am. If you know me even the slightest bit, you know that I am DEATHLY afraid of needles. My love for leopard print is the equivalent of my hatred for needles- if that says anything. Well, as soon as we walked into the holding room where my grandfather was, I saw the IV. You would have thought I had seen a King Cobra morphed with a tarantula. So, there I am, slumping into a chair, trying to smile, and feeling nauseated as my complexion descended to Casper. I was in no form or fashion equipped to be in a hospital room looking straight at my ultimate fear, but I faced my giant, so-to-speak, for my grandfather. As they wheeled him out of the holding room to take him to his operation, he looked up at me and said "Glad you came, sweet girl." My. heart. melted. That was the only strength I needed to be there. That was all that mattered.

I feel like this is true for our spiritual walk as well.  I heard once that "God does not call the equipped. He equips the called." There are going to be times in our lives when we are called to face our own unique giants. We may be scared. We may feel ill-prepared. We may feel like we aren't good or worthy enough. (We may be about to faint in a Hattiesburg hospital.) Yet, if we take that step and face our fears, God "equips the called." He gives us the strength to be in that moment. He gives us the resources we need to complete our task. He gives us a sling-shot with a rock of faith. He smiles and whispers,

  "Glad you came, sweet girl."

(And, that's all that matters.)

Awkward and Awesome

So, I have seen this on a few blogs, and I couldn't help but think it was absolutely perfect to implent on mine. Because let's be honest, I define awkward, and yet, I am continuously blessed with so many awesome things in my life. So without further ado, let's debut Awkward and Awesome. (I promise, if you give me a week or two, it's going to get real awkward.)

Awkward:

• Tuesday night, I became a big girl and attended my first Accounting social (that sounds awkward enough by itself), and was trying to act as professional as possible. I smiled. I mingled. I tried to ask accounting questions. I felt my stud earring fall out of my ear and hit the floor. Mind you, the actual stud fell out- the rest of the earring remained in my ear...(Thank the Lord I hadn't grabbed a plate of food yet, or it would have probably fallen in the artichoke dip.) So, in the middle of accounting recruiters, auditors, and eager students hoping to make an impression, I am searching the floor for my earring....yep.
• Over the break I bought a BOSU Balance Trainer ball. Me buying a piece of balance equipment is already awkward? Did I mention that after my first attempt at "Calorie Combustion" the ball decided to pop out of its platform. I killed the BOSU. After a week.
• In my new English Fiction class, we got back our grades to our reading responses. If you know me even the slightest bit, you might have picked up that I'm a little OCD about school and grades. This is especially true for my writing. So, professor decides to give me two 9-out-of-10s for two of my responses. I was livid. Mind you, I realize this is a 90, but he said "undeveloped paragraph." I think it's more than clear I can write more than 5-7 sentences. So, after class, I approached professor about my grades. He said, "you do realize it's still an A?" Yes, Professor, I do. I hope this is a developed paragraph!

Awesome:

• I finally got a red pair of jeans. Do yourself a favor and buy a pair too! Colored denim is in this spring ladies!
• No-class Fridays complete with BBB Breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes. TO DIE FOR.
• Last Sunday, I went to a new church, North Oxford Baptist, with Maggie and Tori, and I absolutely loved it. I also discovered Kim Walker's "I Need You More." Do yourself another favor and lisen to it!
• Tara brought me a Gigi's cupcake home from her internship on Wednesday. Sometimes, all it takes is some icing to make a girl smile.
• On the optimistic side of school, I just got good news for my writing project and am more than excited. More to come on that later!

Happy weekend!!