Doler Days

"The only woman I ever loved, I married."- Mr. Doler

Looking at the picture sweeps a bittersweet smile across my face. I miss that smile already. Being back in Oxford and not going to the Veteran's Home is odd. For the past two and half years, I have moseyed down the hallways searching for Mr. Miller and Mr. Doler and their vibrant smiles, and when I would finally lock eyes with them as they were wheeling towards me, I would instantly know that I was learning a lot more than how to play a game of dominoes. I was learning about life. I was learning about love. The roots and depths of companionship. The power of one simple smile. Ultimately, I was learning about myself as Mr. Doler and Mr. Miller helped knock down the domino walls of my heart on a weekly basis and poured their lives into mine. If you have read my blogs from last year, you know that I lost Mr. Miller last November. Last month, Mr. Doler returned home as well. So today, this post is dedicated to my sweet Mr. Doler and the past year I got to spend with you. I love you.

I remember one day that I was visiting Mr. Doler, he told me about journalism students from Ole Miss that were interviewing some of the veterans. He was being interviewed, and as we played dominoes, we talked about some of the questions that he was asked and the story of his life that he gave. When the article was published, Mr. Doler gave me a copy, and there was one line that sent my hopeless-romantic, head-in-more-than-the-clouds-more-like-fairytale, female heart reeling. In the article, he had answered a question, and he stated, "The only woman I ever loved, I married." I am pretty sure I jumped out of my chair and hugged him as soon as I read that line. This also had deeper sentiment to me because I cannot tell you how many times in conversation Mr. Doler would randomly interject "My wife and I would have been married almost 55 years if she hadn't passed away." Each time I would smile like I had not heard this tidbit for the 500th time, and each time it would always touch my heart like it was the first time he said it. Although there are many conversations and memories with Mr. Doler that I remember and cherish, I believe this is the piece of advice that I will hold the most dear from my domino friend.

The only woman I ever loved, I married. I know what you're thinking. Come on, Shelby, you've said that three times now. We get it- your mind is frolicking on the set of Sleepless in Seattle or rowing in a boat with Noah in The Notebook- what's the real point?

The real point and lesson to take from my friend is that in our lives, we do not fight and pursue the things we love sometimes. We let all sorts of obstacles hinder our paths- resistance, fear, pride, judgment, others' opinions, doubt, selfishness, (fill in the blank with your excuse), and we watch things and people we love slip through our lifeless fingers like grains of sand. Instead of almost making a 50th year marker, we sometimes look back on our lives with regret and hear bells of what-ifs echoing through our minds. Mr. Doler did not let the world get in his way- when he found the ONLY girl he loved, he married her. When the country he loved was in need, he stepped up to the plate and served. He lived a life fighting for his loves. I remember one day shortly before he died, he told me he hoped that he made it to 90 (he would have been 90 next month). Mr. Doler, I wish you had made it to 90 because I know you would have lived this month with more love than most people have in a lifetime.

So there's the challenge to me and you from that ridiculously adorable face pictured above. Find the things, the people, the beliefs, the places, the relationships, the dreams, the goals, the passions in your life that you LOVE and "marry" them. Fight for them "for better, for worse." Carry them throughout your life "till death do you part." Because when you're 89 and you look back on the years of life, isn't that what you want it to be filled with- love and all of its indescribable experiences?

I love you Mr. Doler. I know that you'll be waiting there one day, and I can't wait to see you again and only hope I can tell you that I lived a life that was full of fighting for love.

A Time to Dance

"And a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:4

It has been four months since I have blogged. FOUR. I owe an apology to any who might have read my blog in the past. Looking back, I blogged the most when I was experiencing a valley, and writing served in 2010 as an outlet for me. Yet, I fell off the blogging radar in 2011. To simply and selfishly put it, it was my time to dance and rarely found/sought out the time to blog. Therefore, I apologize to those of you who had to read all of my valley posts and never got the description of the view from the mountain. That is my new M.O.- give you my tales from the mountain. However, before I get to that- I also feel convicted because I have not been as grateful for my time to dance as I should have been. I heard a verse from Job once that said "Should we accept good from God and not trouble?" I used to think this was showing our impatience for hardships. However, it applies to my life in other ways. In my times of hardship, I grew even closer to God. As I wrote once, it was a season of my life where I became less and He became more. Yet, when my time to dance arrived, I went tearing across the dance floor without thanking the One who turned on the music. I was the naive child who was enthralled by the song and was oblivious to the loving parent watching from the side of the room. Therefore, thank you God for the "time to dance" and for being the gracious, forgiving Father who smiles from the corner.

Back to 2011- I literally could probably write about the past year all day long. It truly was such a wonderful year where I was blessed with so many amazing people, experiences, opportunities, and life lessons. Yet, in light of the fact that I missed a Thanksgiving post and in celebration of the new year, here are twelve aspects of 2011 I am thankful for.

1. My parents. Throughout the past year, they have taken the role of a Servant Heart to an all-new level and have never ceased to inspire me on a daily basis. They are two of the most selfless and God-trusting people I know. I did not deserve them, but I am so glad I have their guiding footsteps in my life.

2. My sister who I have literally watched venture out into the "real world" the past year. From getting her Doctorate after six years of school in May to her "big-girl" job and her new apartment, I am so proud of her and the fact that she keeps raising the totem pole a little higher every day for me to climb ;)

3. My Aunt- Laura Story said it best in her song Blessings when she said "What if your blessings come from raindrops?" Although it was not under the most ideal circumstances, I am so grateful that my aunt now lives with us which has given me more time to spend with her and soak in her unique pieces of wisdom:)

4. An emergency-room free year! Can I get an amen? Besides a small passing out spell in the middle of the DG hallway, Kate finding me in my towel, and Maidee setting off the fire alarm as she ran up the fire escape to get to my room, the year ran smoothly and no roller skates to be found.

5. Speaking of DG, 2011 started my junior year which also meant living in the DG house. I have absolutely loved it so far and am dreading the sad day in May when I have to move out.
6. My childhood friends- although I have written about them in my blog several times, I could never run out of words to say. They have and always will hold a special place in my heart.
7. My college friends- From people I met my first day at Ole Miss to ones I met this semester, I have been blessed with such wonderful friends in Oxford who make this season of my life all the more beautiful and worthwhile.

8. A new friend in March- From a rather comical meeting, I gained a new best friend last spring and every day since has been quite entertaining. :) Simply put, I am so thankful for meeting someone who can put me in my place and make me laugh simultaneously. (This is not an easy task folks)

9. Trips- From Spring Break in March to four beach get-aways this summer to New Orleans in July to three trips to Houston in the fall and day-trips to Memphis, I have had my fair share of wheel-time so to speak and am so grateful for these adventures because they hold some of my greatest memories from the past year.

10. Mr. Doler- He will have his own post soon, but I am thankful for my last year with my sweet friend. I love you and miss your smile already.

11. The fact that everything happens for a reason. This has been my mantra for over a year now as I have blogged about it before, and this allowed for my time to dance.

12. A God who never ceases to amaze me, who loves me despite all of my flaws, who always listens to my never-ending rambles, and who blessed me with the past 11 wonderful blessings and my time to dance in 2011.