Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Happiness. One of the most simple, yet ridiculously complicated, concepts/emotions in life. In my eyes, it could almost be summarized as this:

Kidding. Well kind of.  As I mentioned in the previous post, there have been a few big changes and decisions made in my life over the past month. I was waiting a while to share, but things seem pretty set in stone now (yet,are things ever set in stone with me?-good question). These changes came from me asking myself and evaluating what happiness meant and looked like in my life. Ultimately, this did not seem to be parallel with accounting. No disrespect to any possible accountants (I am dating one after all.) I still think it's a great field to go into, especially at Ole Miss (Top Ten in the Nation!), and offers a realm of possibilities to those pursuing it. However, at the end of the day, I did not feel like this would ultimately make me happy. Therefore, after much thinking, I have now decided that I am going to apply to OT school in the fall. I know this is a drastic change from Accounting/Business, but I was in Pharmacy freshman year which still doesn't really justify my decision. This decision comes from my heart. Throughout the past few years, I have tried to pinpoint the true passions in my life. For some, it's the wonderful world of sports. For some, it's fashion and the trends that stun the runways. For others, it's music and the arts. Mine is none of these. Mine can be found in the hopeful twinkle waiting behind teary eyes. Mine can be defined by a frown transforming into a smile. Mine are all ages, races, personalities, and ways of life. My passion is people and helping them throughout life. Volunteer at a nursing home for two and a half years, and then try to work in a field where you aren't constantly and directly aiding people, watching their progress, and reminding them of their potential while becoming a better person along the way. Try to not be captivated by the human heart and the power of a smile. (It's impossible).

As you can imagine, I have received doubts and skepticism from others due to my change. Yes, I am aware that I am almost a Senior in college. Yes, I am aware that this is the second time to change my mind. Yes, I know that I may come across as crazy. But as a wise woman once told me, you can't worry about others' perceptions and expectations in life.  You have to make yourself happy before that happiness can be passed onto others. For so long, I think I have tried to do what I thought was "expected of me" in a sense. Yet, my heart was never there. I have learned two things from this. 1) You are never going to satisfy the world's expectations, and quite frankly, you don't have to. 2) You are the only one who can control your happiness and how you view your life (meaning you have to go with your heart). Do I think I could have been worldly successful in accounting? Yes. Would I have been truly successful? No, because my heart would have not been in it, and why in the world would you dedicate your life to a passionless task? I love the line from one of my all-time favorite movies, Serendipity, when the guy says, "They only ask one question when a man died. Did he have passion?" Therefore, this is me doing what, I believe, will make me happy, and this is me pursuing a life of passion. Although I am not the biggest Beatles/John Lennon fan out there, when I saw this quote, I couldn't help but share. It sums up my outlook on this change.

So here's to being "happy"!

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